Is it easier to just stop feeling altogether?

This summer has been a little bit of a rollercoaster for me. There's been more lows than highs, more bad days than good. I've acknowledged that there's some things that aren't quite right happening in my head but I still haven't asked for help. I keep telling myself that I can fix it on my own but I can't. I know I should tell someone but I think I'm just waiting for someone to notice that I'm not alright, that I'm lying every time I say "I'm fine".
More than anything I want to stop feeling so sad and lonely all the time. No matter what I did or who I saw that day, I crawl into bed and I just feel like shit. I almost would rather stop feeling this than keep living the way I've been living. It's hard to wake up every morning, wash off the tears, cover the dark circles under my eyes and force a smile onto my face. I don't know if it's all worth it anymore. I hate feeling this way; I just want it to be over.
~Wannabe